Thanks for your support.

You really think I can't let it go because they are cruel? I thought it was because of the need of family. Hmmm..I'll have to think about that one.

There's a lot of other stuff too but I don't want to get into all of it. These were just a couple of examples.

The problem is my Mom is getting very old and has been sick with arthritis (severe), sciatica, diabeties and last year she had open heart surgery.

I don't visit her much-just on Christmas-because I get upset over those situations that I've written about. And when I try to talk to her about it, we end up fighting and she gets all mad and upset and then tells everyone about it so then they get mad at me for upsetting her.

She doesn't act like a Mom a lot of times. She'd rather side with the oldest daughter because she's SOOOOO funny and charismatic and it feels more like a clicky high school situation a lot of times. What ever oldest daughter says about the situation is good enough for Mom. Forget that oldest daughter is a manipulative BI...!!! and likes to (HER QUOTE)"Use people like a tool." and has referred to my Mom as being "guilable".

But if I don't speak to the family or visit-she gets upset over that and I'm in the same situation. It's a catch 22.

I feel there is just no way of resolving this issue and I refuse to keep being put in that position because no matter how I handle it, it's wrong and I come out of it feeling and looking like an idiot.
I'm pretty sure this is where the bulk of where my problems lie. It's not like I have my own self made family I can turn to like everyone in our related family does.
::Shugs::
I just lost the "friendship" with the one sister I thought I could count on because I realized that it's all about her-all the time. And when I brought this to her attention in various ways, the last reaction was that of being very mean spirited and telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself and taking jabs at my emotional turbulance issues.
I've already written about it in another post of mine. I won't go on about it again.

This post is really long. I hate whining like this.

And I'm just blubbering away here.

Thanks for listening. I really appreciate the time you've taken out to read this. It's nice to be heard.
((((((((Hugs))))))))