TheByzantine, I respect what you have to say. There is alot to be said about forgiveness. I guess I just really don't know how to do it right now. Like I said before, I feel like forgiveness has already taken place, in that time we have talked and laughed alot with eachother, but anger comes back anyway. Maybe I have to forgive myself for being the person that I am and not worry so much about him. Or, maybe forgiveness will come easier toward him once I forgive myself.

I actually just let him have it today. I told him why exactly I felt resentment toward him, almost every little detail. I let him know he failed and so did mom and it was an insult to me and my sisters to deny the experiences we all shared. I understood that some of those things would be hard hear no less admit to oneself, and though I don't want him to flog himself everyday for what he had put us through, I had to let him know that it would make us feel better if he looked for some sort of path of redemption, not just sit there watching TV on his comfy chair everyday. He agreed, but I know him. Some pursuit will take place for a few days then quickly fart out. But at least I got it off my chest for now. I'm not as angry. Now - onto pursuing my contentedness. Thanks for the words. I really felt help here toward healing, I'm not kidding!