I agree, you need to tell your pdoc the complete truth. When I first started going to my pdoc I was addicted to Ativan. He did make me go off of it and he precribed Xanax XR, which has less of a risk of addiction. It has helped tremendously. It was hard to kick the Ativan as I loved that it was a quick relief, but overall the Xanax XR has kept the anxiety in check. As far as work goes, it is important that you get this under control. It sounds like this job is important to you and getting well will help you keep it. Just explain your situation to your pdoc and they should be able to work with you. Take care and keep posting!