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kimmydawn said:
i had to realize that NO, I DIDN'T ASK NOR DESERVE THAT, and that i'll never know why all of it had to happen to ME. mindfulness has helped there to acknowledge these issues as just "existing or being", so that i can attempt to address them and what they've done to us.

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What you've written there speaks volumes about understanding that you did not ask for this nor deserve it and that there may never be the answer we are seeking for the "why?"

Acceptance isn't easy. Your T sounds wonderfully supportive when you tell us about things from sessions. Staying safe while coming to acceptance on some subject is crucial. Glad to hear you're doing what you need to for your safety.

wishing you peaceful times during these difficult ones.