Hi, blueginger (nice name!)

I read your post with interest. You seem to be having a particularly difficult time trying to decide if you want to spend time with this guy or not. Does he abuse you, mentally or physically? No one should stay in an abusive relationship. You're worth much more than that. Is it a question of the attention he pays you (or not)? You mentioned that he didn't "hear you." Does he just tune you out?

What attracts you to him? It must be something strong if you keep going back after the way he treats you. Is this in any way similar to the way your father treated your mother? Some people carry on even negative family traditions, from generation to generation. If so, you need to break the thread and stop putting up with someone who treats you like dirt.

Do you have access to therapy? If you have health insurance, does it cover therapy? I think you would benefit by talking with a trained person who knows about relationship problems. If you don't have insurance, you might go over to your county health department and see if there's some way to get therapy through them.

Some relationships are toxic to one or the other participants, sometimes both. It's not good to stay in a toxic relationship. There are many other men in the world. Available men. Don't think that your former partner is the only one you can find.

Feel free to send me a private message if you want. My name here is Ygrec23. I wish you all the best, and as soon a resolution of your problem as possible.

Take care.