Dear Siempre Nada,

It's true. Going to college as a freshman can be a real problem. I remember it well. You could have been a star in high school, but college is a totally different scene. You feel that you're socially inept, but your self-perception may or may not be true. If you want to defend yourself in college and at the same time take advantage of all the good things available, you might want to start out by being quiet and a good listener to others. Then you can permit yourself to grow by adding a comment now and then. People really do like good listeners. And they seek them out. Above all, don't permit yourself to get isolated in fear of others. It may be hard to believe, but most of them feel the same way you do. That's why the listening skill is so valuable. If you really listen, if you really pay attention and show it, the people who are talking to you will become your friends for life. Their gratitude will be that intense. Because they are frightened too, deep down. And your listening to them helps them overcome that fear.

I went to college a long time ago, but I remember my first year as if it were yesterday. I had a prominent position in high school, but college was totally different. And there was no one for me to talk to, to get advice from, to explain my feelings to. Everybody in those days had to be tough. And that was really, really bad. If you can help people who are now in the position I was then, believe me, you will have as many friends as you want.

Good luck to you! And take care!