(((toniahoward)))

You have every right to be angry with your abusers. Their impulsive actions have caused you (and your fiance) a lot of pain and torment. Let that anger out! It's great if you can let it out appropriately, rather than holding it inside & re-aiming the anger and blame towards yourself.

I'd greatly recommend working with a professional T, to help you get through this process. It can be very long and drawn out, which can cause internal chaos (especially with important relationships). Working through the pain is a necessity.

Gentle hugs to you!