I am sorry you are going thru this. I too am going thru it so I know how you are feeling. As far as the abusive husband goes I have been there done that one too. I finally got tired of it and left. I had to do it because it was making me sick as well. I know it is tough right now but we all need some kind of laughter in our lives. If at all possible take some time for yourself. Find what attracted you to your husband in the beginning. talk here whenever you need to hon. YOU are not alone!