Thanks Shez, my cousin has BPD too, I think it's similar to PTSD in a way isn't it? Or some of the symptoms are?

What should I do about this BDD? Should I talk to my therapist about it? I am seeing her in a few weeks, but I can't see her very often because since I've been avoiding a lot of people I have to get there myself, it takes 3 buses or 2 buses and a 20 minute walk.

One thing I really truly can't stand is my grandparents complimenting the way I look, sometimes I can cope when it comes from other people, but especially when my grandfather comments on my appearance it makes my skin crawl. I feel like I'm to go completely nuts, it feels like a trigger. Even compliments from 2 years ago make me feel horrible when I think about it. I try to avoid wearing new clothes or anything my grandparents might notice so that they don't comment on the way I look. I've asked for them to stop before, I have even asked my grandmother to tell my grandfather to not comment on the way I look but he gets angry about it. Even if I talk about how I have a familiar face (I tend to get strangers come up to me thinking they know me from somewhere, one guy even initially thought I was his daughter) my grandfather says that it's just because I'm so attractive that they are looking for an excuse to talk to me.

I'm worried that if I get diagnosed with this BDD that bringing it up with people might draw attention to the way I look even more, like the first thing they might do is comment on my appearance. What if my therapist does it too? When I hadn't seen her in a few years and came back she commented on the way I looked and I didn't want to know about it. It's the reason I've never really talked about all this with anyone, people have an 'obligation' if you will to comment on someone's looks when they bring up how they feel. I think people are lying, I don't know how they can't see what I can see. I think they are just telling me I'm good looking because they aren't exactly going to turn around and say 'well okay you are ugly'. It's crap, it's not true at all.