Thank you Bloom and Sanity

I was okay with being on my own Sanity.. I didn't want anything to 'change' in my life.. couldn't stand the thought of having to change my lifestyle (what it had become after the break up with Mark) but then Richard just got under my skin... He wrote me a parting message after I said tha I couldn't speak to him or see him anymore (self preservation i think)

belle, u are really a sweet chick, ur really really nice, i enjoyed hanging out with you, to be honest i dont really have a reason why i just went off you, i know i got impatient and just lost interest because i wanted to be with you so bad but i just got sick of waiting, but i think that has alot to do with my anxiety, who knows what will happen in the future to come, we may end up back again if i get the same feeling back again. i really just wana sort my head out as ive been dealing with this s**t for ages and i dont have to, i just wanna be happy, the worse thing i could do is fake it pretending im having a 100% fun in life.
u just have some space, try meet some new people and see what happens, there might be a man that will sweep u off ur feet better then what i could, im just going to chill, and just sort my head out and just have abit of me time, after all this anxiety i just have always been involved with girls and im just a bit over it, need some time to myself. few weeks,months who knows, but hey u take care, ill see u around the traps xxxx

thanks for everything, i enjoyed every minute

For me it just started to feel right and I guess that when if felt right to me it felt wrong to him... remembering I guess that he is only just 25 years old...

Weirdly I turned to Mark tonight.. I finally feel real friendship towards him.. told him how I felt heart broken about Richard etc and what had happened.. He replied with *hugs* and then asked what was wrong etc..
After I had explained and he put his two cents worth to in.. we both felt like it was a totally weird conversation to be having LOL but it felt right to be emotional with him...
I am crying my eyes out and I just want it to stop..
I had no intention of opening my heart again but it happened... and it only took two months... I feel like I have betrayed myself in some way.. i promised that I woldn't let myself get hurt again and I have.

I do know that the pain will be short lived.. it wasn't even a full on relationship LOL so I am probably being silly.

Thanks everyone... sorry for the lenghty post