Thanks la doctora - actually the conversation I ended up having, caught me completely off guard. Prior to this I rehearsed in my mind, what I might do or say if I found my girls engaging in this, but I didn't foresee myself talking about it. The day we had the conversation, my daughter was upset and troubled - she was being very ambiguous why she was upset. So during our conversation, I just sort of casually stated "when we touch ourselves it actually feels good". That's when she asked me "is that an okay thing to happen"? It turned out, she was actually feeling guilty and troubled. It was pitiful the way, she seemed so relieved to know, it wasn't a bad thing. I feel this was a burden for her and she was feeling guilty about it. I was careful to mention, this is a solitary activity and no other person should touch her privates.

For the average parent who happens upon their child self pleasuring - I think stating "this is fine but keep it private" is sufficient explanation. I just had to re-assure my daughter a little more because she was struggling with feeling it was wrong.

I also have a 12 yr old and I've already educated her about sex but haven't mentioned this topic. I figured most children explore this on their own and I don't know if most parents include this in sex education with their teens or not.