Evening, I have been following this thread. I think its important that you are saying these things here. Actually, I want to congratulate you and let you know how strong I think you are. Even if you do not agree. You have begun to take the steps to get help. Talking about it, as you have been doing is crucial to the process.

As many have said, I have no doubt that this is about something much deeper than what you think you look like. Its about deep wounds. Wounds that were inflicted upon you. "I am mommy - of - the- heart" to a lot of teenagers. All of whom have been extremely abused. Some are literally gorgeous. But there is nothing I can say that can convince them that they are not ugly. Truthfully, I no longer even try. Because its about the deeper work to change the voice. To change the way they percieve themselves. As they do that, they not only can claim their inner and exterior beauty, they also take back their power. I believe you have begun this process. Its not quick. But along the way, incrementally, you get to take back your power. You are doing a wonderful job talking about this. I am impressed with your strength and determination. Huge blessings for your brave self !!!