Thank you all but I feel really beaten by this comment. No, she was not trying to be rude. She said that both my girls are anxious (this came up in a conversation and I agreed)> I said I didn't know what more I could do and she said that both of them seem to feel the need to be perfect and that she saw that in me too (which is true) and they have obviously picked it up from me.
I have tried SO hard not to let them see my anxieites. I don't talk about not doing things well enough in front of them. I have always praised them for their efforts and stressed that trying hard is good enough, that they don't have to be perfect,t hat they don't have to be best. Hubby and I always stress how we are not good at everything. We celebrate the things they are good in and praise them for their efforts in things they are not good at. But she was very much saying that they are like they are becausee of me, that they have picked it up from e even if I haven't meant them to. It all comes down to me - but I have really tried and my trying isn't good enough.

I feel such a failure and so guilty. They would, have been better off without me.

C