I ended up calling in sick to work today. I'm so messed up.

Yet I went in for a 1 hour meeting about this one mess that I think is part of the reason I'm so stressed out right now. Not actually work-related, but a charity group I'm on with some coworkers from work. A huge event we had planned for Saturday just totally blew up in our face 3 days before the event, and basically.....it's all my fault.

But I don't know what the heck is going on. I feel depressed, yet I'm spending money like crazy. I had $200 in my spending account for groceries, gas, etc. that is supposed to last 2 weeks - it was all gone in 2 days. I even raided my husband's rolled coins for $35 bucks. He's going to kill me when he finds out. I thought the money part was a manic thing. What's going on. Maybe mixed? I don't know.

You know what sucks? I had gone nearly two months without a sick day. And my boss had asked us to fill out performance reviews a while ago. I was going to go in to her office TODAY to talk about that performance review....and ask for a raise. Can't do that anymore. Not with another #@(*$ sick day. "Hey, I just called in sick because I'm too depressed to drag my butt out of bed, so, how about paying me more money?"

I just screw up everything.