Starrynight, I really enjoyed reading your post. I relate to it a lot. I was diagnoised about 10 years ago & I like greylove said am galloping down the same road as you. For me I've been really good at masking my illness, I'm a go getter, successful, I've been lucky with my career. But I had a baby a year ago. Suddenly something matters in life & I don't want to mess that up. My whole world has been turned upside down, she is making my life so busy & I'm so manic I feel like I'm not breathing sometimes.
I'm on lithium for the first time in my life. I've tried many mood stabilizers, lamictal, trileptal (something like that), the anxiety pills, kolonopin, xanax, depression med's wellbutrin, paxil, prozac....I tend to be medication resistant.
The lithium has helped me a lot. I hope you find your place with this illness, I know I'm still looking for my place too. Living with a mental illness is a lot to deal with & accept. Keep us posted.