Quote:
Originally Posted by Umbral_Seraph
Men and women: Equal but not the same.
I believe that, unfortunately, there are a number women who make strong statements that they wanted to be treated equal but readily play the gender card or try to use sex to their advantage. (I also feel too many people say they are for equality but try to play the race card.)
I just don't understand why if a man holds a door for another man he's polite, but if he holds the door for a women he's sexist. 
I've joked before that "chivalry is dead because women killed it", but there have too many instances where that painfully true. |
I agree with everything you said. I'm glad I go to a church where, any time "women submit" is mentioned, they also say "men respect." I've had too much background with religious doctrines that stop at the "submit" part, and I've seen too many husbands, including my own father and my ex, play the "submit" card in order to get their own way all the time.
To answer your question from my point of view: A man who holds the door open for a woman is not being sexist, unless he holds the door open for a woman *just* for being a woman, and
wouldn't do the same for another man. It's not the action. It's the way of thinking.
Understand: If I encounter a man who does such things as open the door for me, stand when I approach, tip his hat, give up his seat, or whatever, I will smile and thank him. I will not call him sexist. I will not get angry. I will not even hint at it. That's what he has been taught. He sees this as being polite, and I appreciate all efforts to be polite. But if I encounter a man who does NOT do those things, I don't mention it at all. I don't complain about chivalry being dead. I don't consider him rude. Who knows, he may be afraid of having his head bitten off.
The only time I would ask and expect a man (or another woman, for that matter) to hold the door open for me, etc., is when my arms are full, or there is some other physical reason why I would have trouble doing it myself. I mentioned in the OP that I have a physical disability, and I do appreciate the extra consideration. On *that* basis, not because I'm a woman. And I hope that a man with the same physical disability would be shown the same consideration.
My mind flashes back to my first marriage. We were out walking, can't remember where, and ex had a male friend with him. We'd crossed a parking lot, and the two men had stepped down from a small ledge onto the sidewalk underneath. My legs were shorter, and that ledge looked pretty intimidating to me. I hesitated, and ex backtracked to help me down. But not without saying something snide to his friend about, "Hold on, I've got to help the helpless woman." It was typical of his behavior. "No, I'm not going to pick my socks up. That's what a wife is for." This illustrates, number one, why he's an ex, and number two, maybe why I'm so sensitive about the issue.