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Originally Posted by little*rhino
There is no one truth).
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It surprises me to realize that I have come to the opposite conclusion. There
are things that exist (are "true") outside of our agreement to them. Gravity, for instance, is real. Our understanding of it may be tentative, and we may change our description of what it means as we think we understand more, but the thing itself is there, independent of us. The same with health disorders. They have their existence in spite of us. We may not fully be able to describe them, but if they are just whatever we wish to call them, up to the individual, then we are in big trouble!
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one should beware of one's own filters
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Indeed; that is one reason our understanding of things is imperfect, but that does not mean the things themselves have no reality outside of what we think about them. I try to see my own filters.
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i don't happen to think it's really emotionally any healthier to think one way versus the other in some regards. They are just different ways.
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You mean there is no reality to emotional health outside of what we wish to believe?
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i don't think many people are truly evil, but some are. i don't personally buy into the escapist or absolution theories of an abuser being a good person who happened to have been abused themselves. i do happen to believe that people who abuse have evil elements even if they aren't always evil all the way through. i would be very deeply pained by someone telling me otherwise, especially in the case of my own abusers...
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People, I think all people, me included, have weaknesses, and those can develop into major tragedies for ourselves and others. I find it better to say "I am extremely upset and greatly fear what some people have done to me" than to say "they are evil". I think it is more honest to understand what one's real feelings are than to attribute objective qualities of ultimate badness to other people. Are they totally different than we are? If not, then we too may be evil. Or weak and have the capability of inflicting harm?
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and especially in a place such as this, where people tend to have arrived because of all manner of personal pain... no one comes to receive new dogma. It isn't the place to debate who is good or bad. Debate those things on philosophy or ethics sites. People have a right to their views, it doesn't mean i have a right to make everyone be subject to MY views. i happen to know people i believe are evil all the way through... you can feel it roll off of them in a toxic energy. i am ok with people who don't believe in evil or good, just live your life by it. Living your life by your beliefs is more effective that spouting them anyways.
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I am often criticized here for not being "supportive" and bringing up subjects such as I have. I am told this is not the place for it. As I think I indicated before, if I felt I had
ANY other place to talk about these things I probably would not bring them up here. They are things that concern me, and I find no place to discuss them. Many here have probably heard that children blame themselves for abuse done to them, because it is safer emotionally for them to do so than to realize that their caregivers, on whom they feel they depend for their very lives, are unreliable (to say the least). I feel the same kind of fear, the same kind of conflict, when I feel that the people I want to depend on, "authorities", are not reliable. It is very difficult for me to grow up and find little support in doing so. When I express those fears here, almost everyone, I think, reacts, even unconsciously, with fear; they do not want to simply perceive my fear, but try to fend it off with words. They do not see fear and quietly comfort me. I think only one person in this thread saw behind the words.
As for people who are evil and "you can feel it [evil] roll off of them in a toxic energy" what is true is that
you [anyone is] are feeling fear of them, because of what they are doing. I think realizing what your
true feelings are is more helpful. As very, very scary as it can be.
OK, I suppose this thread will get shut down. Once again, do I belong here? I upset people too much. Where do
I go to get a hearing? Not here, I guess.