I know KD, I know. Believe me. I separated myself from what was happening for 8 months. When I saw him it became real. Very real. The police reports are all real. It's disgusting. I know from reading that it is worse when the trauma is caused by a person.
It is going away, as I said. I am less paranoid, less afraid, more grounded. The blank look is gone from my face. My family told me that I have had a frozen look of fear on my face since the day the subpoena came.
I am just wondering how many more months I have to suffer. People think I am causing my own suffering because I won't let go.
People tell me to just forget it. My friend told me if it were her she would be in constant fear and could not leave the house. That's where I was at and I am coming out of it - very, very, very slowly.
I never wrote all of the details here because it is too much so know one knows...
My own family didn't believe half of it until they read the police reports because it is all disgusting and unbelievable.
He was a sociopathic and pathological liar. He brainwashed me, lied, threatened, manipulated...he walked into court the most well dressed person in the room.
He looked at me and laughed when he pled guilty. He has no remorse. He laughed at me for 4 hours while I was trapped in the room with him.
Then the prosector told me his whole history. Everything. I did not want nor need to know. That is why I am the way I am today. Any one of those incidents could have sent someone into a major state of panic and it went on and on and on for nearly a year.
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Stop looking around you have already arrived.
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