To be honest, from all Ive read and learned over the years...that "spot" you refer to is only a myth.
It does sound like you have a very strong relationship with him and thats really good to hear. And Im glad also you find so many ways tolet each other know...that's really importnat.
I can understand your issue with the intimate, physical part of the relationship...it is par t of it too and a big part for alot of people.
You said you dont enjoy it "anymore". I conclude form that you have in the past though right? Can you back track to when that changed? Maybe see what led to the change and the reasons...its probably more than one thing...Its a given the Depression, pain and meds have their role.
I think if your comfortable with your therapist Id talk to them about it too and they may have suggestions as well. ont think theres a prescription cure for it lol...but I think talking will be the best med. Being able to be open and talk about it...figure out why and some different solutions to try...they do have therepists that deal only with sexual issues...they can be alot mroe comfortable to talk to and they also have alot more knowledge to the reasons behind the feelings and answers.
WIsh I knew what to say to help...I think its very good you want to find help for it or answers or talk about it. Shows it is important to you and something you'd like to change...Knowledge is power....sharing is healing.
You'll win this battle too Trish....there are many different things to try or see if they work or help....I think the sex therapist is a biggie. Just dont know if youre comfortable with that...I also know though that they usually welcome both partners to come in together which sounds like it would be good for you because he seems very supportive of you.
Much love
Jenn