Dear Sugahorse:

With all the hostility he seems to be piling on you, with the relatively detached manner he treats his own children (from different mothers, if I understand correctly), with his serious drinking problem, and with all these difficulties being apparently of long standing, it really doesn't sound as if you need this guy, that he's good for you, that you can receive from him what you need from a partner. How can you possibly think you can change him? I'm a guy, and I don't know why, but it seems that guys don't have the same earnest belief in their own efficacy at altering partners who need to be changed to give you what you need. Be realistic. Has he ever given you solid reasons to believe that he's open to change? Open to change for your needs? Give it some solid, basic thinking before you make your final decision. And keep it up before you get to your solid, basic conclusion. I'm like all the other PC'ers here, I'm on your side.

Take care!