So I have suffered from my Mother's abuse and neglect for my entire life. When I was little she would ignore me as her friend's children beat me right in front of her, the same with her countless boyfriends. She is an alcoholic and very insecure. Having a boyfriend and partying were her two most important things in life and my brother and I were usually at the bottom of her list, only around for money and sympathy she received as a "struggling single mother".

My dad knows about this and I left her place with my brother when I was eight years old. I'm fifteen now but she still affects me. I see her on a monthly basis and she still puts her boyfriends before us, she lies about me behind my back saying I demand money out of her when all I ask is for her to take me to the mall on my birthday so I can get bra and things that my Dad cannot help me with.

I've been depressed I think for about three or four years now, and in grade eight I stopped going to school. Because of this our social worker put me into home-schooling, and then because my attendance didn't approve for 9th grade, an alternative school. There are so many signs that I am depressed but my Dad doesn't wanna do anything about it. He knows I have problems with my mother, he even brings it up sometimes, but when it comes to me going to the doctors.. he just wont have it.

I can't talk about this with him because as soon as I try he'll get mad at me. He'll say I don't have a problem I just think I do. That I just need to get over my Mom. I don't need to go to the doctors. I don't need medications. He'll ask me if that's what I want, if I wanna be abnormal and "crazy" like everyone else out there. I can't respond to this and it just pushes me to tears each time. For a while I shunned my depression saying I can just get over it, but it gets worse and worse and I can't just ignore it anymore..

How can I talk to my Dad about this, what can I do? There is no one else in my family that I'm very close to and only two aunts that I THINK I can trust. But still I don't feel very comfortable talking to this with them.. but I'm lost. Sometimes I hope that I'll just die in my sleep.. sometimes I hope that my mother dies. But mostly, I wish that my dad could be more understanding..