lol... I guess that is what I was saying though it took me a zillon more words to express. Addictive.... good word for it. I woke today and did feel detached and after some thought I realized it was the lack of depression that had me feeling at odds with myself. I wanted to curl back under the covers and thought if I was depressed I might be more inclined to give in to the urge or at least be less able to resisting. Since I wasn't depressed it seemed less acceptable an options. Not sure that is legitimate because it is not always about choices in the moment but it was my thought at the time.