I struggle with this as well. Its hard. I gave up smoking and did not go back. But with the food issue, its different. I have been quite overweight and then I have become a starver eating no more than 400 calories for very extended periods of time. Becoming painfully thin. But the feeling of starving to stay that way was quite painful indeed. Right now because of health reasons I am supposedly a normal size. But I surely do not feel it. I mentioned BDD to my therapist who wanted to know what it meant. I gp up and down in weight. No one ever accused me of being pretty or beautiful. Thats just not the way it is for me. But I have accepted it. Because of the starving and extreme stress of anxiety my hair started falling out 25 years ago and never stopped. So there is little "crowning glory" as well. A dentist pulled out perfectly good adult teeth when I was a child. So I have big gaps in my mouth. And I have the bite size of a child because they tried to move the teeth to cover up the mistake. All in all, this is not a very attractive body to say the least. Nor has it ever been attractive. But I realize that people do not look away when I pass by. So things could be much worse. Beauty is really what we hold in our heart. And that is not always easy to find in oneself when there has been great hurt