Ok, so here's my situation. I take Lamaictal and it has SAVED my life. But I was taking samples of the brand name until I could get in to see a doc. I saw a doc, got a prescription for the brand name. My ins refused to give me anything but th generic. I took the generic. So, I proceeded to have a psychotic break, want to kill myself by taking a boat out (I live on the ocean), slashing myself up good and bloody and then taking cyanide just as I dump myself overboard. That way the sharks and fish get a meal (hope the cyanide wouldn't hurt them). No body, no trauma in finding a body for my loved ones. This is the second time on the generic and the second time I have ****ing melted down. It does NOTHING. May as well not bother. So I went to a pdoc, thinking they could work with ins co and again they said no, that I have to be allergic to generic to get the brand name. So I'm stuck with this useless generic. I've been in a bit of a psychotic episode once starting the generic again. Don't know what to do. I've looked into coupons (still not affordable) and assistance programs (there really are none). When I was on the real Lamictal I felt well, healthy, and alive. On the generic I want to rip the worms out of my brain that are making me think these terrible things about wanting to die and obsessively planning it. I cry for hours every day. I'm not alive. I'm empty. And all I need is this medicine that saved my life and made me feel whole. I know meds are not everything, but the Lamictal was quite nearly a miracle.

Just needed to vent, I guess. I'm going off all meds. The Lamictal generic is making my episodes worse (I document carefully and my partner does too because when I'm irrational I need his objective view).

Life is ****ing ridiculous. I hate it. I just need this medicine. $208 a month and I could LIVE. But it's too much. I'm unemployed and too sick to work or do much.

Sorry about this vent.

Real Lamictal= beautiful quality of life.
Generic Lamictal= psychotic suicidal mess/