I would have never put those together about the dreams and supporting my bf but that does make sense. Finally today I broke down and had a panic attack that has been building up for almost a week now. The other day at work I had a stabbing pain in my left side and all day yesterday I felt light headed and actually got sick once last night and then today we went grocery shopping and every time he put something in the cart all I could think about was draining my bank account to pay for everything.

I hope to god he gets this job tomorrow because it is starting to wear on me and apparently affect every aspect of my life. I'm glad you brought that up thought because I was really worried that those dreams felt so real and I started going the route of "holy crap, did my brother really molest me and I have been repressing it this whole time?!" which I know isn't true but it was really playing mind tricks on me.

And right now I don't have insurance because I'm in between graduating and starting grad school. So starting in the fall I will have ins thru the school and be able to see someone but I havent been able to for a while now. I originally went to my old T for PTSD from my past abusive relationship so, for insurance purposes, he could only see me for a certain amount of time and so many sessions until they deemed me "cured" and then I had to have another reason to go. Hopefully school insurance is more lenient with that though.

Thanks guys. I feel much better now.