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It is hard cma62 in fact money is probably one of the most prevailant causes of issues in marraiges the world over.
He's probably trying to copy your inheritance. Some people are obsessive when it comes to money, but I don't get why he kept it secret.
As far as the van is concerned tell him that you would appreciate whatever money he was going to spend on the car to be put towards the van. And if he has issue with the need for a van, let him take the kids everywhere see what he thinks then?
Rhi
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Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
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