Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
..well there is a way to stay with our chosen partner without taking on their stuff as well.
For me, I have to be mindful of the situation as it comes up and just monitor my own emotions. When my partner is having a PTSD issue, I am able to remind myself that it is not MY ptsd issue right then. It can easily become one if I don't watch it though. So I will emotionally withdraw a little bit and will view my partner as only a friend or even as just someone I know. I work extra hard to not take the situation or even things said directly to me as personal... even when they are personal.
Another thing I do is to focus on my own self care. Sometimes I have to get away by myself and do whatever I need to do to bring myself back into balance. For me, that was not easy at first due to a little bit of that possessive nature some partners get. Whenever I have a need that I must fulfill for myself, I have to just draw a line and make a stand. Sometimes that means I can not sit around and listen to a PTSD driven blow-up because it is making me upset, so I will excuse myself. My partner does not like it, but we both know that I will be back when the situation is less volitile and safer for both of us.
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Thank you WeePow for sharing some of your experiences. I find it hard to not take some of the things he says seriously based on my lifetime experiences (as hurtful as they may be sometimes - example getting into an argument and he goes strait for the - we should get a divorce line - i then lose it for a short period of time and he comes back with an apology and that he was caught up in the moment - other times however he's extreemly supportive of me in many ways). I am trying to draw a line and do things for myself more. I'm not used to doing that and I feel like I'm making myself more distant when doing things for myself for some reason. Perhaps I'm afraid of change? Change that could draw my husband and I further apart? Change in a bad way is not what I want.
Thanks for listening and thank you for your post! 
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara
Don't ever mistake
MY SILENCE for ignorance,
MY CALMNESS for acceptance,
MY KINDNESS for weakness.
- unknown
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