(((((((googley)))))))
Sending you many hugs and positive thoughts. Please know that these urges DO go away in time, but sometimes they can feel unbearable. I am sorry that you are feeling these strong urges to SI. Do you have any activities that can keep you busy until these feelings go away? Exercise, reading, journalling, watching television, talking to someone else about how you're feeling? I hope you can distract yourself during this difficult time.