Okay, I'm 60 and matriculated in history, changed majors in my senior year to sociology and then graduated out into the 1972 recession where, not only were there no jobs but women still were only "allowed" to work as teachers, nurses or. . . secretaries. My father suggested I aspire to become an "administrative assistant" with my college degree. . .

My last job was in accounting. Funny world, this.

If I could do it all again? (but with the knowledge I have now :-) First thing is I'd tell myself "You'll be okay". It would have helped a great deal to think that way back 35 years ago. I moved out of my parents home when I was 22 and had a job working as a clerk at Sears Roebuck for $95 a week.

I like accounting as well as being good at it and if it were "today" with computers and being able to major in all sorts of things, I might have picked accounting/business because the chances of getting a better paying job at some point would be greater. After I had my accounting courses in the early 90's I went around to accounting firms, Dec-February offering to "sub" for them during tax season and do all the little stuff their normal employees would be too pressed to do, working like banshees February to late May or June (and then trying to do year-end business books for those industries/businesses that close midyear).

I got good picking up "odd" jobs I invented for myself like that. My favorite past time though was interviewing for part-time jobs "beneath" me but in fields I wanted to learn about or with tasks I hated (filing) so I could learn to do them anyway, despite my penchant for trying to avoid such tasks. If someone wants/needs them done, why can't I just do them? I never did learn discipline growing up so it got harder and harder the older I got to try and cajole myself into doing either what I "ought" or even what I ultimately wanted but which would take time. I was a spoiled child when it came to wanting what I wanted when I wanted it

I worked at Sears for a little over a year when a friend of my parents knew of a job and spoke for me so I got it. I stayed there for two years before going on to a job I had myself chosen and which I was good at. It was the late 70's and very early 80's and I got in on the ground floor of computers. I stayed at that job 8 years until my mentor retired and I decided I would go out on my own. That only lasted about a year and a half and I found, what, at-the-time, seemed my dream job. It turned out to be a boring dead end that was hard to get out of but I was laid off after 4 years. Fortunately I'd met my husband in there so I started 10 years of part-time and self employment and learned an enormous amount about myself and what I wanted. Accidentally happened into my dream job that was literally "made" for me; had to teach accounting, do accounting, figure out and trouble shoot new accounting software and met some of the best friends I've ever had in my life.

All I know now is that nothing happened as I imagined it would and nothing was as horrible or frightening as it seemed it would be. I said "yes" a handful of times that changed my life and I really wish I'd said "yes" more often and earlier. I also wish I'd gotten to know myself better, sooner.

I'll be 60 this year and have an 88 year old aunt still alive and my mother's brother was 97 when he died so I figure I have 25 or so more years. I'm feeling pretty unsure myself what I'm supposed to be doing :-) and whether I will do it "well" but it is my life so I guess I'm the only one "judging" how well it's done or in charge of doing it in a way I'll enjoy? You may feel alone Emily but it is my experience that our feelings and experiences are not that unique that we can't look around us and take courage from all the other people doing "it" too while we are. Nobody knows what they're doing because one can't be in charge of the future so planning to do X, Y or Z and looking like you're in charge is just other people playing at feeling in charge. One can try to do X, Y or Z if one wishes but there are no guarantees for anyone.

Last week I was in Minnesota and it was raining the whole time I was there (10 days) and one morning I was thinking of a Robert Louis Stevenson child's rhyme, "Rain" I love:

The rain is raining all around,
It falls on field and tree,
It rains on the umbrellas here,
And on the ships at sea.