I'm really sorry for what you are going through, especially being newly diagnosed. It probably answered a lot of questions about you and the way your life has been, but also leaves you with so many burning questions. Know that you are not alone. I have fallen over the edge so far into that black abyss before, and I know it is terrible. You just have to remind yourself that everything you feel is temporary. "This too shall pass" is one of the things I have to remind myself often. I can honestly say that God, or whoever you want to believe in, really has never given me more than I can handle. I have come close to breaking, but not quite.

But besides all that, and most important is to stay on top of your meds! Tell your dr everything that is going on! Give them ample amount of time to work and see how you feel. Sometimes it takes a lot of combinations to get it right. It's been years since I was diagnosed and I am just now finding what actually works for me. I just joined this community here last week and am getting used to how it works. It helps to just read some of the posts. It feels good to have someone actually get what you are feeling. My husband hasn't the foggiest of what's going on in my head, so this place helps.

Please don't ever give up! Don't let it beat you down, I promise you the light in your tunnel is just around the bend. Good luck!