I just had a funny though (unfortunately not ha-ha type funny) but would you feel lost not feeling stressed? How would you "continue" what would be your incentive/energy without having to push yourself and/or him?

Maybe the dreams, because the abuse happened in the past is about you pushing yourself (being "behind" yourself, old problems flagellating you) to achieve rather than going toward achievement "naturally"? Goad versus carrot. Everything will be easier when you all are through school or have jobs or get whatever is "next" and he never quite cooperates but rather than cut your losses and try to do it alone or find a better partner, you can push him when you yourself are doing well or point to him when the overall situation isn't optimal?