and now Im super paraniod and freaking out. I didnt want to leave him at all.

Friday night me 15 month old was very fussy and didnt sleep well. He normally sleeps 12 hours a night and this time he only slept a 5 or 6. He was up early so I was up early. He was crying so loudly but totally limp. I gave him tylenol and laid with him until he went back to sleep. When he woke up he seemed fine. He played outside even. So I felt in his mouth and there is a 1 year molar poking through. I gave him so motrin and we went to the water park which we do every Saturday. Anyways on the way there the kids in the back seat said he was twitching but when I pulled over he was fine. I should have turned around and taken everyone home and him to the doctor then. I'm not feeling like the best mom at all. So then we get to the park and usually I let him hang out with grandmom but I stayed around most of the time. Finally I went to the lazy river and decided it was time to go home. I was walking back to our spot and here comes by sister-in-law running and screaming about my son. I ran to my mother-in-law and took him. He was so lifeless yet his body was twitching. His eyes were rolled in the back of his head. I ran to the First Aid booth along with workers from the park. The put ice on him to cool him down and he started to come back to me. Then he started crying. Finally. It was so scary. Once his temp was down to 99 we rushed him to the closest ER. They gave him tylenol and fluids by IV. He was still crying. weak but crying. We went home and I was up with him until 4am scared to go to sleep because it may happen again. Once I did go to sleep I passed out until 10am. My sister-in-law brought him to me because he was fussy. I had him all day in my arms (except when I ran to the store) he didnt want down to walk or to play he only wanted me to hold him. My body was so tense and tight from the stress. Maybe these are common but I was not prepared to see my son that way. Today he is at the daycare and I have already called twice and want to call again. I am obsessing over him and super worried and anxious and tense. I need a anxiety pill and muscle relaxer at this point. Maybe a bottle of wine or something narcotic. I dont care what it is I am just so scared because they never did figure out even why his fever was up in the first place. So what if it happens again when he goes outside to play at daycare. Am I just being paraniod and over protective now? Its just that this is all my fault and I feel like I could have prevented it.