Hello, I'm glad you came on this forum. You are welcome here. Well, with everything that's happened in a short time, it's absolutely not surprising that your life is in a shambles. This may sound strange, but, you know, it's OK to be in a shambles. We don't have to have our stuff together all the time, especially when we are re-creating the reality of our life with a recent diagnosis of a major and life changing mental illness, but western society has us think that we are "less than" if we don't project a patina of having all of the aspects of our life all going well at one time.

Trying to hold it all together endlessly is a very hard road to go - I did it for decades. All people, especially those with mental illnesses, need to get to the point of saying, it's OK to struggle, it's OK not to not be maybe the high achieving person we used to be (that's been a big one for me) - this is a NEW phase in our lives. Don't get me wrong, there is a massive grief process we need to go through to transition from what we were and what we did before, to what we are and what we are capable of now. A very big mindshift, which in itself needs to be both worked on and given time.

Physical illnesses or injuries have a huge interface with our mental illnesses too. The cliche of the mind/body connection is so very true. In dealing with both in parallel (which I have to do too), means that progress in each can be slower and more of struggle, a struggle which seems endless and impossible to overcome. But with time and massive patience, there CAN be progress in both areas.

While your diagnosis itself is a total, scarey and grief inducing mindshift, it can defintely, if you try to embrace it, be the fulcrum to a new life for you. It may be that you have been ill for some time, but undiagbnosed and untreated. Being diagnosed, and starting into the process of finding a right meds mix, is the start towards a better, if different life. And yes, it is a turbulent time of finding your new identity - but that search will truly besr fruit if you allow it. I have Bipolar as well as panic and anxiety and I am also an 11 years sober alcoholic in AA. I got a lot of things back together when I got sober, but it did all go out the window as my mental illnesses escalated.

I am on a totally different footing, living on a Disability Support Pension, alone, no family contacts anymore due to my illnesses and rejection etc. 43 years old so no kids in my future. Can't do my previous but well-loved career. But I am embracing a new life I would never have wished for or planned for myself. But it's my lot and I'm doing my darndest through psychiatry, psychology and my ongoing committed work in AA to have the best life possible for me.

Yes, the meds scenario is a very painful one in reality. I can take years, once a correct diagnosis is made, for the psychdocs to get it right, or as close to right as possible. That's one of the crappiest parts of the scenario - but it IS do-able - you'll see many people on this site who have stuck with the endless meds change an ultimately gotten somewhere productive with it. That's my story too.

And then, there is therapy. I don't believe, personally, that meds should be given in isolation from ongoing therpay - they work in concert with each other to get the best possible mental health outcomes. Again, welcome.