(((((((((((((Lifelost)))))))))))) I have a bipolar son who often manipulates the same way to get what he wants. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I can understand your need for escape. If my son wasn't my son, and actually even though he is, I feel the same need. And I feel evil for even thinking it at times, let alone say it out loud.

One thing I want to say to you. She makes her own decisions. You breaking up with her may affect her, but she is the only one who can decide what she does about it. You are not to blame.

Part of me wants to say, no, don't do it in person, because I know what the visit will entail and I don't want that for you. But I understand, being that you have been together a few years, the need you might feel to make it face to face.

If there is a friend of hers that you know might be willing to talk to her afterward, that might be a good option. If I were there, I'd happily do it. I know it's a tough tough situation to be in.

Please take care of you during this time. Manipulations suck, especially when you care so deeply about someone.

If you do break it off, be strong, don't be pulled back in.

I wish you the best. I hope I didn't offend you by what I've said. I just know, dealing with my son, some feelings that may exist in a relationshop with someone struggling in that way.

Take care of you, be safe.