An old T of mine brought up the same thing. He flat out asked me "well if you don't want to be depressed anymore, just stop" and said that he thought that I had just gotten so used to anxiety and depression that I was not allowing myself to be happy because it was foreign territory to me. I've always been that way and have always had panic attacks but if I just try to sit on the couch and just relax, that makes me more anxious than running around a mile a minute. I actually get more nervous not doing anything than when I have a ton on my plate.