(That spelling is probably way off.)

Anyone ever think about wanting to fail on purpose? Like if you screw up your life enough you'll get the attention you yearn for from your friends/family? Part of the reason I self-injured was for recognition, to not feel "invisible!!" To have someone see me, even if it was just to see my cuts/scars. I wanted to matter. So would it be very far fetched to deliberately screw up in certain parts of your life to make you "dependent" on others for attention?? I'm not saying I've done this, but just curious if anyone else has thought about it.

I'm on my own now. I got my nice, fancy job out of college; I've got my own apartment and am building "my life." But I still feel empty. I feel alone. I don't have anyone to share my life with. What's the point...I want to stand out, be noticed...be seen!! But I don't know how....the only thing anyone ever notices about me is the tattoo on my wrist, or the scars. Maybe if I could get my artwork back out there, people would see me again....I don't know.

I'm ranting...read what you will; doesn't matter really, it's only a computer site.