I understand the thought behind your feelings. It sounds like you are having a hard time with self confidence and being confident enough to pursue how to not be insecure. We all have our insecurities but more importantly it is how we treat ourselves that affect the way we are perceived and treated by others. Make sense?

I understand why you hate people for treating you in such a way so how do you think you can change that?
There are times in everyones lives that we realize change is needed and hopefully for the better. So while your spirits are up, take charge, be confident and communicate your needs and wants to others in your life.

We all need friends and people who understand us for who we are have you tried a support group, a club of your interest and take a step to make some fullfillness in your life? Only you can do that and it has to come from within and when you are down dont let anyone take advantage of that, thats why support in your physical life is so important. :-))