Hey buddybear,
Sounds like she is massively jealous of you. Of course she would be, she had her dad to herself every weekend until you came along and she isn't at all happy that you are taking up his time.
I went through the same thing with my partners daughter until she realised that as far as I am concerned evenm though I totally adore my partner, I believe that their relationship is just as important.
Her mother had led her to believe that he had left her (the daughter), for me and had told her he didn't love her as much now that I was on the scene.
I made as much a fuss of her as I could without it being ridiculous, and continually gave ground in as much as I didn't interfere if they were sitting together or doing something together; I in fact would tell my partner to sit with his daughter because they don't have as much time together as he and I do.
This led to an amazing turn around in Penny and now she and I genuinely love each other and she knows that I am not in a game for her fathers affections. If there is any discplining to do I leave it to him, and I only ever say anything if it is something I really don't like. But to be honest behaving like an adult and not playing the childs game of emotional tag, she has matured a lot and no longer feels threatened.
It is hard sometimes to remember that kids are kids. We treat them more and more like adults at such young ages these days and that needs to be wound back and understood that they are not mature and do not have the life skills adults do. How much older than she are you? ...see what I mean?
Honestly giving ground to a child is not a loss or a triumph for her; it is showing her that you respect her relationship with her father and that you don't want to interfere in that, but rather encourage it to be close and naturally happy. But you need to tell her that you don't want to take her place in her fathers affections. Being the adult and giving them their own time and space will go a long way to fixing the issue,
Loving thoughts,
Rhia
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