After reading your posts i can see that you are overwhelmed by your situation. Other people have suggested counselling for you and your husband. My personal opinion would be for you to get some individual counselling to deal with what you're going through. Once you figure out why you're doing this and come to terms with it things will look a little clearer. Maybe you FWB relationship is a relaxed and easy time and comes naturally, whereas with your husband everything seems like a struggle. I'm all for people working on their marriage in the hopes that it can be repaired and you can both move forward. I also believe that once you've checked out of your relationship emotionally it might not be possible to repair the damage.i do think if you still love your husband but are not in love with him he needs to know this. Be honest with your feelings for your husband because it will be impossible to patch things up with him if you're heart isn't in it. Not healthy for either of you. Try to imagine life without your FWB if he decides to leave the relationship, would that make you want to work on things with your husband. Sometimes too much has happened in the marriage for reconciliation to be possible. Work on your marriage because you can honestly say you love your husband and want to share your life with him. If you've emotionally checked out of the marriage be fair to both of you and tell him. My thoughts are with you, i know this is a very confusing time. You'll be able to move on with your life a lot easier if you've exhausted all channels in attempt to repair the damage.