Perpetuallysad: I cannot believe you just posted this!!! I was just thinking this all day today. I actually went to my pdoc today and told him that I can't ever tell which is rational or me just being "bipolar." I am so sick of being effing angry and confused all the time. I think originally the gripe starts out to be a reasonable complaint, but when we don't get the response we want, we blow up. I don't know about you, but when I am "abusing" him, as he put it yesterday, I can hear this tiny voice in my head telling me to "please shut it, you are doing irreparable damage." I never can. I almost feel like I can't type this fast enough so you don't feel so alone!!! Yesterday I knew the ape **** crazy mode was about to strike so I went upstairs and got into a COLD shower and stayed there until I was calm. It worked and when I came downstairs, he was cooking dinner! PLEASE pm me if you want to talk. I am feeling very alone in this as well. I don't have anyone in my "real" life that I can talk to about this stuff, ya know?