For me, my identity is a mix, includes who I am to others, such as mother. My identity also seems to not be divided too much between internal and external, though that could be because I just never thought of it that way.

I can relate to the feeling of being an age different than my actual one. Because of abuse, it has felt like I missed out on building blocks of growth, and now that I am safe, I am able to grow myself up.

Good therapy has helped a lot with that process. As has keeping a journal.

If I felt that some part of me was lost, I'd think on how to define that part, that aspect of myself. For instance, if I wanted to experience some happiness, and I felt that my happy self had been squished out of existence, I'd write about this, I'd maybe read up on what other folks say about happiness, I'd work in therapy on what seems to be in my way.

Your mileage may vary.

Best wishes,
Sarah