findmyself, I agree that my view of myself is that I won't ever be close to what "normal" people experience (normal to me being somewhere in the largest part of the Bell Curve). That's unless there is some miracle treatment comes from the scientists - don't hold oour breaths!! lol My dreams and expectations are nothing like I had when I was younger and didn't know this freight train was coming - in fact it was already with me - I was just undiagnosed and untreated. But I really aspire to peace in my life, just a few friends and being gainfully occupied in either part time work, study or volunteering, which I haven't been able to do since the bottom fell out of everything. I DO contend that it takes more for us to get through the day than "normies" despite the patronising way people can say (including the mental health profession), that what you are experiencing, the whole of Humanity experiences more or less. Crap. Just look at how much our capacity to function, to work, to be in relationships are affected and the mortality rate for us - and of course our actual experience of the many, many crippling and soul destryoing aspects and manifestations of Bipolar.

But I love your:

i am not where i want to be today...but i am not where i used to be