It may appear siblings are raised the same way, but there are different dimensions that do go on consciously and unconsciously, we relate to people in different ways. We all know about the scapegoat within a family for example, not saying this was in your family, but its short sighted to just believe "this was so".

I relate to all 3 of my children differently, and I expect some unconscious relating and transference has gone on, to ask them how I appear to them I hope to get 3 different stories, if they all spoke the same story of had the same experience I'd feel something isn't right. We must allow others to have their truth and that truth may feel uncomfortable at times if it challenges what we feel comfortable believing ie, I had this experiecing growing up and you must have it too.