So we talked for another 4-5 hours last night and he actually did admit that he has been abusive. And he said that if he gets this job he has been interviewed for with benefits that he will go to counseling. I said that no matter what, whether I go or stay, he has to do something or else he will never have a healthy relationship. At first he was denying some things because I had him go through this checklist of things an abuser will do and he said that he doesn't feel that he controls me. Then I said, even if you are not physically moving my arms to make me do something, me being terrified of how you will react if I mess up or do something wrong is still you controlling me. So after he read through the article he said that the only thing he really doesn't do is the jealousy part or make me not see my friends or family which he doesn't.

So he has asked me if I called the landlord yet because I showed him the apt I would move into if he kept this stuff up which I think is what really made it set in that i was serious. He also said that he knows that if he could just learn not to hold in his feelings he would probably be a lot happier and not come off so angry which I agree with.

And he did a little self-exploration last night and kind of found (on his own) that his father treated him the same way and made it so that when he was growing up he was not allowed to show emotion or cry or anything. He knows that his dad talks bad to his mom and he hates the way his dad acts and I think he kind of started to see that he is just continuing the cycle and acting just like his dad. There was more crying, of course. And he has been apologizing non-stop.