I really feel for you on this one. I know exactly what emotion is going through you and how it's affecting your every waking moment. There has to be a point where you decide how much turbulance you are willing to accept. When it starts affecting your health you are going to have to make some tough decisions. Remember, we all have choices in life and we are all responsible for the choices we make. Wether we are cabable or not is best left for the P's. These are the professionals and that's what they do, help us make these choices with clarity.
Hang in there and know that you're not alone.

Jp