I think help is like a present? And in that regard, one gives it (or doesn't) but what the one that has been given to does with it is up to them. I know some people get upset because they give help or advice or something to another and then complain about the other person not following the advice or "wasting" the help/opportunity, etc. but that's only for the person whose it is to say. I have an extra X and you say you'd like to have an X so I give it to you. Doesn't matter if you already have 42 X's or use the X to club Y over the head with it; my only part is in deciding to give/not give my X. I cannot know you are going to use it club Y with it, even if you tell me you are; yes, I should take that into consideration if I suspect it but I have no right or even business asking you, "You aren't going to club Y with it are you?" I do not have to give X and if I have a problem, a worry about Y being clubbed, that's my worry, not the person to whom I'm giving/not giving X to or Y's. One makes a decision for one's self, not the other.