I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time, if it's any consolation...we've all been there and pulled through.

I'm sure that by now you know the ups and downs of bp. You know that the higher you go...the harder we fall. It's important that you create a fall place to fall when the down cycles begin. By that I mean, what are your comfort places, your comfort movies, your comfort music, your comfort foods (but not too much bad stuff, lol). When you are not in such a low place...create this soft place to fall in preparation for the inevitable.
Don't be afraid to reach out for help, open up and hear what works for others. We are all individuals with different comforts. Figure yours out and the down cycles might not feel so all consuming and devestating for you.
I know that when we get into this space we are not necessarly looking for advice or attempted solutions for the feelings you're experiencing...but you've received lots of hugs from others and I offer one too, but I would be remiss to at least not offer some forms of coping skills.
I hope this helps.
Thinking of you.
TgrsPurr. xo