Shaoli, I'm glad you have finally found a med that works well for you and are doing so much better, are working, etc. I think there's a learning curve with this illness thing and it takes time to figure out the right meds and what will help with it. I think during that time our loved ones get use to dealing with situations that are mostly us (whether or not we mean for them to be, it just "is" we're ill!) and I think they have a learning curve too!

Substitute some other illness for your bipolar, say, multiple sclerosis, cancer, or even pneumonia or a heart condition needing hospitalization. Our significant others have to cope with our condition and they do but when things get better, if they do, they can't just turn off what they've been doing/feeling, etc. like a light switch? They get use to viewing us as "ill" and needing help and even feel certain feelings (helpful? in charge?) they like. We're ill so they get to order things more their way; our treatment and how the interaction works (when they'll come visit in the hospital, is an example if you had a condition that hospitalized you) and they get into a pattern that works for them in this type of situation. Now you're better though but sounds like your fiance hasn't quite woken up to that fact yet.

I don't know what you argue about but I would think about those issues and how you would like them done and then sit down with him and talk to him about how you would like the relationship to be now that you're getting better.

Remember though, you can't have it both ways; be "taken care of" and have a say in how you're taken care of. If you are capable of self-care, you have to do that care for yourself. If you are not, then you are reliant on others and they get to care for you as it is best for them. Think again of the person in the hospital; in 2003 I was hospitalized for a week and my husband came every evening to visit me. I might have liked him to be with me all day but I did not need that sort of care and he has his life to lead and responsibilities at work and home running our household without me. He got to decide when it was best and easiest for him to visit me.

It sounds like you have benefited from your boyfriend's pushing you in the past to get to the doctor and keep trying meds and find a job, etc. I think it is natural for you to say, "fine, I'm on my feet now, let's re-evaluate this relationship" but I don't know that you have sat down and talked to your fiance about that? If you do not make it clear to him what you want and what you would like to do for yourself now and as a couple, but only push against what he is doing, I think he's going to just push back in that case. Talk to him and tell him what you want and don't want for the relationship and help him see how it has changed and then see if he takes more responsibility for some of the disagreements. Only negative feedback ("It's all your fault") does not get the other person engaged in a relationship but just to respond, equally and in kind (It is not!).

Tell your boyfriend how you appreciate all he's done for you and explain how you have changed and where you want the relationship with him to go from here.