I disagree with the Bakery. I dont think its ever too late, but I am always hopeful, at least I try to be. If you are having to pay for the sins of people in her past its going to be a long road for you.

She is having major transference and doesnt even know it. Why do you need to argue with her? what do you get out of it? knowing it upsets her, why do you continue with the behavior?