Your husband has issues and needs help. You also should seek some help and find out why you allow this to happen. Its abuse plain and simple and he may be doing it as a way of having power over you. I liken it to a rapist, its not about the sex, its about the power and control over the victim.

Maybe he was sexually abused as a child and is now acting out against you? do you know if he has this history or physical abuse? either way your not a prude and its YOUR BODY! no one has the right EVER to touch you in a way that you dont like.

I hope you do something for yourself here. Do you have kids with him? You said he was abusive before, was it physical?